Self-Control

Last Friday, my 8-year-old completed his weekly chore list with enthusiasm and precision. He’d made his bed every morning, fed the dog, and helped with dishes all week. As promised, he earned 10 Treatcoins. His eyes lit up as he immediately calculated what he could buy. “Can I spend them now?” he asked, practically bouncing with excitement. I smiled and said, “You earned these, and you can spend them anytime. But what if we waited until tomorrow to decide what to buy?” The look of confusion and slight disappointment on his face told me we had a perfect opportunity to practice delayed gratification in a low-stakes environment. ...

The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment of the 1960s showed us that children’s ability to delay gratification predicts future success outcomes. But what exactly is self-control, and how can we measure and understand it in our own children? The ability to resist an immediate temptation in favor of a long-term goal is one of the most important skills for success in academics, relationships, and life in general. Yet self-control isn’t a fixed trait—it’s a trainable cognitive skill that follows predictable patterns and can be systematically improved. By designing simple experiments and tracking your child’s self-control performance, you can gain valuable insights into their executive function development and implement targeted strategies to strengthen their willpower. ...