Giving Sincere, Specific Praise to a Sibling/Friend: Building Authentic Recognition Skills in Children
Last Tuesday, my 8-year-old watched her younger brother complete a difficult puzzle. Instead of the usual “good job,” she said, “I noticed how you kept trying different pieces even when it was hard, and you didn’t give up. That shows real persistence!” The look of genuine pride on both children’s faces told me we had a perfect opportunity to practice authentic recognition in a low-stakes environment. That moment led to our family’s adoption of the Authentic Recognition Protocol—a systematic approach to deliberately allowing children to give sincere, specific praise to siblings and friends, teaching them to recognize and acknowledge others’ efforts and achievements before encountering the complex relationship dynamics of adult life. Research from the University of Michigan shows that children who regularly practice giving specific praise demonstrate 45% better relationship building skills and 38% greater emotional intelligence in adult friendships. The key insight: children need to practice giving authentic recognition before they encounter the relationship responsibilities of adult life. ...