Last Tuesday, I caught myself saying it again: “Good job!” as my 7-year-old finished coloring a picture. She looked up at me with the most defeated expression and said, “Mom, you always say that, but you don’t even look at what I did.” Ouch. The truth hit me like a ton of bricks. She was right. I’d been on autopilot, doling out generic praise without meaning or specificity, and she knew it. ...
Every parent has faced this scenario: Your child proudly shows you their artwork, clearly pleased with their accomplishment. Do you shower them with enthusiastic praise, or do you gently suggest they could add more detail? Praise your child for making their bed and they beam with pride. But is this confidence genuine, or have you created an inflated sense of achievement that might crumble when they face real challenges? Balancing confidence-building with realistic self-assessment is one of the most delicate tasks of parenting. Too little praise and children may develop under-confidence, limiting themselves to safe choices and avoiding challenges. Too much praise and they may develop over-confidence, becoming risk-averse when challenges arise or fragile when facing setbacks. ...
We are a culture obsessed with goals. In a world of hyper-parenting and achievement culture, we push our children to set SMART goals, aim for the stars, and never give up. But what if this approach is not only ineffective for children, but also actively harmful? This article argues that our modern obsession with achievement-oriented goal-setting is broken, and offers a more effective, science-backed approach for raising resilient, happy, and intrinsically motivated kids. ...